Excerpt for Get A Life! 4 Phase Three by , available in its entirety at Smashwords


By Ray Harris

Copyright 2017 Ray Harris

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for any recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favourite eBook retailer and purchase your own copy.

Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Ray Harris (Author)


The Life Empowerment Course is the result of a lifetime’s attendance in the University of Life.

The Lecturers in that University have been many; some only had a word or two to say, while some provided lengthy and complex council. None can claim higher importance over another – every concept from every-one was crucial. Also, this learning incorporates the critical input from my Higher Self, as well as guidance and the opening of ways from sources higher than this earthly dimension.

My profound thanks to every single contributor and to every person who has touched my life, whether an enemy, friend or family; whether fleeting or lengthy.

This course is therefore dedicated to humanity!

In addition, I include all those wise people who had the fortitude to put their thoughts into writing; the writers of books whom I never met, or am ever likely to – they have pointed the way to true enlightenment outside the religious context. My gratitude is such that I wish that the heavens may open and pour every richness and blessing upon all and that they may take pride in their contribution in equal measure.

It is my deepest desire that all who do this Course and apply its principles may experience profound and fundamental positive change in their lives - so that they may go on to heights beyond their wildest dreams, and of course, to pass it along to subsequent generations.

For in so doing, they will fulfil the dream of one small boy who was born in 1955 - to change the world for the better!

Special thanks

As I have indicated in my dedication, the names of all the people who have assisted me to the point where this book has ultimately been produced are too many to be listed here.

Not the least of them are all my students over the years who have enabled me to make a living, assisted in times of trouble and given me the opportunity to hone the principles of the course to a fine edge – I thank you most profoundly, one and all!

One person whom I would like to mention by name is my wife – Sharon Dawn Harris (known as Dawn by many), for her tireless support, dedication and assistance, and indeed, for the many hours of computer work she contributed towards this tutorial in terms of tirelessly correcting my atrocious grammar. (I have never claimed to be an English literary expert)

Sharon-Dawn Harris


Changing the past.

Conforming - how it keeps you from your dreams.

Identifying where you conform.

A new way of Thinking.

The second method of Higher Thinking

Accessing the celestial realm of Form.

Continuing with second method - guidelines and procedure.

Meeting with your True Self.

Third method of Higher Thinking.


Magnetic attraction.

How to resolve Health Issues.

How to improve relationships and human interaction.


Actioning the visualization procedure.

Removing Energy Knots.

Levels of Appreciation.

How to increase your Appreciation levels.


Affirmations for Phase 3.

Cycles and States of Brain Activity.

The Laws of the Universe.

Famous quotes.

Further Reading.

So you made it to Phase 3 - Welcome!

If you are reading this and did not read the previous 3 books in this series, DO NOT continue - go read them first!


If you don't, then why do you live it?

A reason may be because you think that there is nothing better (consider this and see if it strikes a note).

By allowing the False Self control over our lives, we have inner contradictions that we find hard to endure and just as hard to escape. By doing this, we torture ourselves.

One of the main reasons that we find ourselves in a loop, from which it feels there is no escape, is guilt and feelings of obligation.

Can you change the past?

Yes, you absolutely can change the past - not the actual event, but the way that you view the event, and by changing its effect on you by dispelling the guilt tied to those events and the obligations that spring from them.

We have all made mistakes in the past - either by our own actions or our reactions to the actions of others.

Guilt and remorse quickly follow.

But was it really you that made the mistake, or error in judgement?

No!! It was the False Self who was in control at the time that made the mistake!

How do I know this?

Because the False Self is impulsive and governed by illusions, vanity and delusions of grandeur, and because it uses false or faulty beliefs as its reference.

By now you would already have agreed that up to the time when you started this course, the False Self had control over your life - that means your past!

So now you know... now you are aware that the False Self was responsible for every one of your past mistakes! But because you were not aware of the False Self's control in the past, you have identified yourself as the mistake!

Here is a vital truth ... you are not the mistake!

You and the mistake are separate - the mistake was an incorrect decision/action made by the False Self!

The lesson here is, never identify yourself and the mistake as the same thing - you are not one - you are separate! Separate the mistake from you!

Cast your mind back to the 'events' lesson in Phase 2.

There, you should have come to the realization that events are only events - that mental addition is one of the sources of mistakes and bad judgement. And we already know that mental addition is a party trick of the False Self!

When you allow the False Self control, and it causes you to make a mistake, where you identify yourself as being the mistake, guilty emotions spring up.

We need to hit this one on the head right now!


It is a common belief that guilt is a sign of humility and repentance – it is in fact the opposite!

Guilt is an egocentric emotion that is concerned with what others may think of you, of your reputation, and so on.

Guilt puts you into a repetitious loop that prevents you from escape!

If you use your system of Events, Observation and Lessons learnt, guilt cannot enter the picture.

If you apply the same system to past events, you actively change the past!


Because you become aware that a past mistake was not yours - it was as a result of incorrect decisions made by the False Self!

Because the False Self used mental addition in past events, guilt and shame were the resulting emotions.

No more!

You are now able to see the past event in a new light - an event, an observation and a lesson!

So now you know that guilt is an emotion that is self-centered in that it is concerned about what others think of you and how they view you.

And this brings us to another truth:

As guilt makes us worry about what people think of us, we are inclined to conform!

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Your False Self has buddies out there!

All those people who have false belief systems, who are unaware of the control that their False Selves have over them, are instrumental in controlling your life. (And that goes for most people)

Because of this, and because of their own subconscious insecurity, they expect you to conform to their way of thinking and to do the things and behave in the way they think you should.

Most people fear that by not conforming, they will be frowned upon by others and nobody wants to be looked at in a bad light!

Even the most hardened criminals don’t want to be seen as being bad – they all want people to love and/or respect them.

The saddest thing in the world today is that very few people have the knowledge that you now have! Just like you, they were fed false ideas, so were they.

This puts a different slant on the way you will view others from now on – you will understand why people behave as they do, and that my friend, puts you in a very powerful position.

You are now aware - you are now able to see and test that which is false far easier than most, and this puts you in the position to smash the power of the False Self within you forever.

Moreover, your newfound knowledge will have a profoundly positive influence on every person you come into contact with!

These ideas and the awareness that we are exploring are just the beginning.

If we are lucky, it will slowly spread throughout the world and we will begin to see spiritual revival turn into enlightenment.

When that happens, it will be a pleasure to be part of society... part of the human race - it is then that we will be able to be truly proud of humanity!

But we are not yet done with conforming.

A look at conforming

Being in fashion, having a position of importance in society, owning the latest and greatest of everything, having a lot of money… all these things are nothing other than unrealistic ideals that the False Selves of every human being that ever lived has set up.

We model our lives according to these impossible ideals of how society deems we should look and be like.

Television and advertising in particular are the tools of these False Self ideals, often using sexuality or by modelling those ideals on popular icons in the entertainment industry – they are used to put people into a state of guilt, anxiety and fear should we not conform to those ideals.

Ostensibly it is all about making money… but in the process, society is becoming conditioned.

It is idealistic nonsense - you cannot maintain your inner integrity when you attempt to follow such irrational presentations. It is from these nonsensical ideals that the erosion of the morals and ethics of society at large springs.

How so?

People, having being conditioned, expect others to be conditioned as well, and anyone not following the trends, is viewed as something less than they are – as if there is something wrong with them.

And of course, as no one wants to think that they are less than others, we have a propensity to conform to the hypocritical standards that the False Selves of others set up.

This is a spiral into social disaster – moreover, it is a loop that society will never escape from until someone breaks that cycle.

When people press upon you a false sense of ‘duty’ - they are in fact telling you what you owe them.

Excuse me, please show me the contract you were born with that you signed agreeing to that.

It’s a ghastly joke, and yet most people fall for it!

Don’t allow yourself to fall for the same nonsense!

Consider the things that you have been told are ‘expected’ from you, or that it’s your ‘duty’ to do this or that, or it's your ‘responsibility’ - it's a mother’s role to do this, it's a father’s role to do that, it's a friends expectation of how you should behave, and so on.

They are telling you how it should be!

They produce these deceitful 'moralities' for their own selfish purposes and it has nothing to do with your real responsibilities.

In fact, you owe them nothing!

Noble ideals

Let’s take a closer look at some of these ‘noble’ ideals:

Let’s start with ‘Patriotism’ as an example.

If ever there was a word that was punted with enthusiasm it is this one!

What does it mean? According to the dictionary it is ‘Love of or devotion to country – willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for one’s country’.


Do you know how many millions have gone to their deaths based on that ideal?

And please tell me how that has improved the world? Look around!


How about ‘It is your Responsibility’?

This word is defined as an ‘Obligation to satisfactorily perform or complete a task (assigned by someone, or created by one's own promise or circumstances) that one must fulfil, and which has a consequent penalty for failure’.

Do you see the word obligation?

Can you see it involves doing something for someone because they want you to?

Can you see that there is an implied threat should you fail in that responsibility?


How about ‘Duty’?

It is described as ‘An obligation to carry out the instructions of someone’. In terms of your contractual obligations to a company that would be fine, but what about in your social life?

Not so much, hey? Yet that is exactly what people in society are expecting from you – to carry out a 'duty' that you are not under contract to carry out, but that if you don’t, you will be made to feel guilty about! That's the penalty!

The fact is, all these ‘noble’ words are nothing but smoke and mirrors designed to force you to yield to the will of others!

And here’s the thing…

As long as you conform to these unrealistic demands, if you don’t unplug from the demands of others, you will never realize your dreams! As long as you conform to these pressures, you simply will not succeed in your goals or dreams. Be sure of it!

So, do you conform?

Bet on it!

Knowing that you do this is just intellectual knowledge – seeing it is your first step towards breaking those bonds that hold you back from your dreams.

In order to do that, to start escaping the bonds of conformity you first need to acknowledge that you do conform, and then to identify where you conform.

To assist you in this, we will do a simple exercise.

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Identifying where you conform and how to escape its bonds.

I know you understand the concept, but until you take it out of your head, and write it down so that you can see it with your eyes, nothing will change!

Get yourself an A4 piece of paper and write the heading 'Identifying where I Conform'.

Now make 3 columns. At the top of the first column, write the heading 'Where I have conformed/what I am expected to do'. In the second column, write the heading 'The Lie I bought into'. In the third column, write the heading 'My True Responsibility'.

Go to the first column entitled ‘Where I have conformed/ what I am expected to do'. Now think - what are you doing in your life for others due to feelings of obligation? Whose will are you pandering to? If you have a contract with the person or institution concerned, that is fine, but if there is no contract, then he/she/they have no right to expect you to do that!

Very often you are conforming by doing things for someone that you ordinarily would not do if you had any choice in the matter.

You need to identify each person or area where you conform – Admit you conform to that person or situation.

Continue listing each one that comes to mind - what you are ‘expected to do’, or the situation/s that make you conform... See it with your eyes!

In the second column headed 'The Lie I bought into', next to each of your entries in the first column, write down the lie you bought into concerning that person/s or situation. This requires a bit of thinking!

Now ask yourself 'Can this do any good for me? Does this move me forward?'

Is it realistic? Can you really measure up? Probably not. You will quickly see what the lie is that you bought into when you consider the demanding nature of what you are expected to do. And more often than not, I'll bet that you actually don't want to do those things. Look a little deeper, and you'll see the manipulating factor!

Now move on to the third column entitled ‘My True Responsibility’ - for each entry in your first column, work out what your true responsibility is, concerning each one. Write it down - see it with your eyes! As you do this, remember that your first duty is towards yourself!

Once again, I realize that you will probably not be used to thinking or working in this way, so to assist you, below is an example:

‘My mother expects me to be at her beck and call’.

In this example, mother wants you to do stuff for her first and before anyone else, including you, no matter how it inconveniences you. In effect, she wants you to be her slave, never mind that you have your own life to run - she expects you to fulfil her desires before your own, no matter how unreasonable.

Very often there are statements that accompany these demands, like: “You don’t know what I had to sacrifice for you!” or “I had to scrub floors to get the money to put you through University!” or many other statements of a similar nature designed to put you on a… guilt trip!

This may ring a bell for you, but if not, some similar situation or person will be placing demands on you, or manipulating you into doing things you don’t want to do, or that inconvenience you.

So in our example, the lie you bought into is that 'Mother is more important than me'.

There is no doubt that you would respect her for all the good things she has done for you, but you are now grown up and have your own life to lead. You would agree that she did her job as a mother – she fed, clothed, educated you and hopefully gave you love. She prepared you for life. Notice the word prepared. Of course you would be grateful for that! But, every little bird must leave the nest at some point if it is to experience a life of its own – so must you.

In our example then, your true responsibility would be 'Me first, then Mother'.

This does not mean that you cease to do anything for your mother - she is still your mother and you surely love her at some level? You would still do things to help her… especially as she gets older, but not to the point where it puts your life on hold! That is the difference!

Your first duty is toward yourself, and your inner freedom.

Can you see how this changes the landscape of your life? It takes you from a position of virtual enslavement, to a place where you are free to make defined choices, and in that, you are free to realize your dreams - not before!

But you have to realize that the very moment you decide not to conform, you are going to run into resistance.

Let’s say for an example, that you are a married woman (if you are a man, bear with us) with three children.

For the past twenty years you have not only kept down a job, but come home to take care of everyone’s needs. You cook, clean house, do the washing and ironing, take out the garbage, see to it that everyone has lunch for the following day, etc. etc.

So at the end of each day, you arrive home after a hectic day’s work, shoot to the supermarket to pick up groceries, rush home to start the cooking and run around like crazy doing all the other stuff.

My question is “Is this fair?”

Excuse me… how many family members are there? Five, by my count. Don’t they mess up around the house? Don’t they dirty their clothes? Don’t they use all the household amenities?

What are they doing while you are cleaning up and doing all the other stuff?

Husband is sitting on the sofa with a whisky in one hand as a cigar in the other, enjoying the game of football on TV!

The kids are spaced around doing their homework? (I’ll believe that one when I am senile!).

NO! They are all entertaining themselves in various ways.

Do they not have hands?

Is it fair that one person does all the work around the house?

Absolutely not!

And what do you say about this state of affairs? “Oh, it gives me suuuuuch pleasure to care for my family!” Nonsense!

You have simply bought into the manipulative lie that suits everyone else – you have conformed to their expectations. And you will remain a domestic servant until you stop conforming! Furthermore, you will never achieve your dreams because you will not have the time to even consider them!

So, now you read these notes and decide, “That’s it! From now on everyone is going to pitch in and do their fair share in the home.”

Oh, yeah?

You go home and yell at your husband, “Get your backside out of that chair and go and make us dinner - I have washing to do!” What do you think his response will be?

Likely he’ll ask you what you’ve been smoking – you have been making supper for twenty years, why the sudden change? Oh, I get it, it’s that course you’re doing - best I burn that thing!

And the kids? They’ll look at you goggle-eyed as if you’ve lost your sanity, unable to cope with the idea that they need to contribute all of a sudden.

Get the picture?

You can’t expect people to accept sudden change.

Oh yes, you can make a sudden decision to change, but if you expect others to meekly accept that, you are sadly mistaken, because you have taught them how things are – you have taught them how to treat you - that it is quite acceptable for you to do everything.

Now you want them to change?

You first need to ask yourself 'Can I change it? Is there another way?'

There is always another way!

You have a brain in your head – a very clever bit of bio-machinery – Use it!

If you want to stop conforming, you must realize that very often, the moment you want to stop conforming, you will come into conflict with those who have manipulated you and who you in turn have taught that it is quite okay to manipulate you.

To escape the gauntlet of negative reactions (From their False Selves), you need to plan your way forward.

There is an old Indian saying - “Slowly, slowly catchee monkey.”

You need to introduce change slowly and in incremental steps so that those who are affected by your cessation of conforming do not notice that you have stopped. When they look again, they are doing their fair share, leaving you free to pursue your dreams!

When I was seven years old, my Mother (bless her) called me over and said, “I have taken care of you since you were born – I have fed you, clothed you, washed your nappies and made sure you had everything you needed to be comfortable.

Today that ends. From today onward, I will make dinner once a week on a Sunday – the rest of the time you will cook for yourself.” She showed me where everything was that was needed to do this, and what I was entitled to take and what not.

She went on, “From today, you will put your washing in a separate basket, and if you want clean clothes, this is how the washing machine works; this is how the iron works, and you will fold and pack away your own clothes and tidy your own room. Furthermore, you will sweep your room out every day, and take the garbage out twice a week.”

How many seven-year olds do that nowadays? I don't know of a single one!

Was my Mother being unreasonable? Was she simply a nasty person?

No, she was a person with a pleasant disposition, but she was also practical and started preparing me for life early on. The result? I am a completely independent person capable of looking after myself even in the most difficult of situations. Desirable? You bet!

Look around at society – what are they teaching their children?

In addition, my Mother was from that moment free to pursue her dreams, such as they were.

Unfortunately, life is not always as simple as that – decisions to stop conforming may have far- reaching consequences, and you need to be sure that you are prepared to pay the price.

An example of the price you may need to pay:

I will use an example of a past student of mine – she was a Muslim lady who had been married for thirty years (an arranged marriage), and was bitterly unhappy and angry that she had been reduced to a glorified servant – that she had not been able to pursue her dreams. She also hated her husband to the extent that she entertained ideas of killing him. She conformed because her religion expected that of her.

On the surface of it, her choice was actually simple – whether or not to leave her husband and make a life for herself.

But it wasn’t so simple.

It would mean a divorce, and since her children, friends and family were all Muslim, to do that would literally cause her to be an outcast. She would, in short, lose her family.

She was 45 years old. She had been married at 15 and as she had no high school education. She had no way of making money for herself. Even if she were to try that, she did not have enough seed money to set herself up independently.

She asked me to tell her what she should do.

I declined, and advised her to ‘Work it out for yourself'. I then guided her through the principles, and asked her to answer one fundamental question: “Are you prepared to give up your family to reach your dreams?”

It took her a day to think about. Then she returned to me and said, “No.”

“So,” I said, “You have decided to remain in your situation?” She nodded despondently.

I then pointed a few things out to her.

I told her that even though that was her decision, to choose to live in misery for the rest of her life would be harmful and damaging.

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